tonight as i was leaving school i looked at the marquee. something's up with my eyes. i had my glasses on.
the marquee said:
CONGRATS V CHEER
NATIONAL CHAMPS.
but i read it like this:
CONGRATS V CHEER
NATURAL CHIMPS.
i'm not lying!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Monday, January 21, 2008
at any moment...
here in san antonio it's a cold, damp martin luther king jr. day.
i slept last night from around 10 pm to 1 am, then was wide awake. after flipping through my beloved iPod for a while, i remembered i had two big bins full of laundry to do. so i packed up the car and drove down to the neighborhood 24-hour laundromat, a building on the same property where there used to be a mr. gatti's pizza, just across the street from where i went to high school and where i now work.
the laundromat was almost empty. it was around 3 am. two other men were there. i sat on the counter and listened to music. i watched my clothes and bedsheets tumble. and to think, i used to eat pizza here.
this past week i turned in my written resignation to my principal. i am moving on. nothing terrible has happened, no bitter betrayal or unresolvable power struggle. i am not getting kicked out or run out of town, like so many drama teachers you hear about these days. i have decided to move on, and to pursue my acting career. i have hesitated to write about this on the blog for fear that the news would get back around to my students before i get to tell them myself. i think the chances of that happening are extremely low; however, if you, reading this, have any contact with my current students, i ask that you exercise discretion and keep this under your hat until i have a chance to talk to them myself, which will probably be sometime in april.
in february i am going to a general audition at the guthrie theatre in minneapolis. i got this opportunity because a bigwig at the guthrie came to my school in december to audition some of the seniors for the actor training program there. somehow i had the unmitigated gall and gumption to ask him for an audition; somehow he had the grace to say, "sure, i can set that up." the rest is falling into place: the theatre offered to let me stay in their artist housing; i bought my plane ticket; i printed out a new resume; i'm putting an audition together. it is a truly thrilling way to kick off this new phase of my acting career.
when you know you're leaving a place, your entire perspective on the place changes. in some ways i'm more engaged now in my work at school, and with the students, knowing that these are my last few months with them. but in other ways i am already gone. it's a difficult place to be in, balancing between the end of one section of my life and the beginning of a new one. i have gotten some wonderful and surprising reactions from colleagues, all of them positive, that exhorted me to go for it, follow my dream, pursue my passion. and i've had only a handful of moments of doubt, all of them short-lived-- they were literally over in a matter of seconds. i haven't felt this sure about something in a long time, probably since i decided to move back to texas back in 2003. so to have extra support from people i work with has just reinforced my decision even more.
it is scary, in a way, but the scariness doesn't compare to the excitement. beyond the particulars of the situation, what's deeply exciting to me is the knowledge i have in my heart that it is time to move on-- this conviction. and then beyond that, the ability to move on-- the energy, the initiative, the follow-through, which already feels like a victory to me.
ps. to fran: i love you!!
i slept last night from around 10 pm to 1 am, then was wide awake. after flipping through my beloved iPod for a while, i remembered i had two big bins full of laundry to do. so i packed up the car and drove down to the neighborhood 24-hour laundromat, a building on the same property where there used to be a mr. gatti's pizza, just across the street from where i went to high school and where i now work.
the laundromat was almost empty. it was around 3 am. two other men were there. i sat on the counter and listened to music. i watched my clothes and bedsheets tumble. and to think, i used to eat pizza here.
this past week i turned in my written resignation to my principal. i am moving on. nothing terrible has happened, no bitter betrayal or unresolvable power struggle. i am not getting kicked out or run out of town, like so many drama teachers you hear about these days. i have decided to move on, and to pursue my acting career. i have hesitated to write about this on the blog for fear that the news would get back around to my students before i get to tell them myself. i think the chances of that happening are extremely low; however, if you, reading this, have any contact with my current students, i ask that you exercise discretion and keep this under your hat until i have a chance to talk to them myself, which will probably be sometime in april.
in february i am going to a general audition at the guthrie theatre in minneapolis. i got this opportunity because a bigwig at the guthrie came to my school in december to audition some of the seniors for the actor training program there. somehow i had the unmitigated gall and gumption to ask him for an audition; somehow he had the grace to say, "sure, i can set that up." the rest is falling into place: the theatre offered to let me stay in their artist housing; i bought my plane ticket; i printed out a new resume; i'm putting an audition together. it is a truly thrilling way to kick off this new phase of my acting career.
when you know you're leaving a place, your entire perspective on the place changes. in some ways i'm more engaged now in my work at school, and with the students, knowing that these are my last few months with them. but in other ways i am already gone. it's a difficult place to be in, balancing between the end of one section of my life and the beginning of a new one. i have gotten some wonderful and surprising reactions from colleagues, all of them positive, that exhorted me to go for it, follow my dream, pursue my passion. and i've had only a handful of moments of doubt, all of them short-lived-- they were literally over in a matter of seconds. i haven't felt this sure about something in a long time, probably since i decided to move back to texas back in 2003. so to have extra support from people i work with has just reinforced my decision even more.
it is scary, in a way, but the scariness doesn't compare to the excitement. beyond the particulars of the situation, what's deeply exciting to me is the knowledge i have in my heart that it is time to move on-- this conviction. and then beyond that, the ability to move on-- the energy, the initiative, the follow-through, which already feels like a victory to me.
ps. to fran: i love you!!
Saturday, January 05, 2008
arrivee en portland
i spent the day after christmas with my brother and sister-in-law (we enjoyed juno) and that night we ate at paesano's. at some point i picked up something nasty because the following morning i couldn't stop ralphing. no, not 'rolfing,' providing deep tissue massage; ralphing. barfing. vomiting. worshiping the porcelain goddess. thankfully, none of my fellow family members were ill, so it must not have been paesano's. but it was icky. and after the ralphing was done, there was still a lot of damage to recover from.
on the 29th i went to portland to stay with friend beth who recently moved there. it was lovely, rainy, verdant, cold. my appetite had by that time returned so i ate a delicious reuben sandwich; my stomach however was still replenishing its natural processing fluids and as a result had some difficulty digesting. i spent most of the 30th in a kind of drawn-to-the-toilet frenzy, emitting something that looked suspiciously like pond water. by the evening of the 30th i was weak and dazed enough to thoroughly non-enjoy a sushi dinner. when beth said she could feel my self-hatred radiating across the table, i reacted sourly. it was a dark day in portland.
but when i awoke on the 31st, glory hallelujah. my energy was restored. my stomach was functioning. my eyes were filled with light and my gratitude soared up into the blue sky. beth and i walked to a cool little cafe called anna bannana for steamed eggs and oatmeal and one of the most delicious soy lattes i've ever had. then we drove to beth's friends' place in milwaukie (just outside of portland) to check on their frail kitty. then we walked around on a little island just outside their back door, an island in the willamette. then we drove to tryon state park and walked in the woods for an hour or two. i'll post pictures soon, but walking in tryon state park was like being immersed in the life-giving moisture of a woodland bloodstream. after my bout with digestive gnarliness, the trees and ferns and sheer green of the woods were the most thorough healing balm i could have asked for.
by the time we got out of the woods, it was around 4 pm. beth and i ate an early dinner at a mexican/salvadorean restaurant in milwaukie. we had homemade pupusas, tamales, salvadorean guacamole (made with onion, garlic and egg) and fried plaintains. it was heaven. we also drank celebratory margaritas. i consider it our official new year celebration.
other things we did: walked up the hill to the park where the rose garden is; ate pizza with beth's friend kristen; went to powell's; talked in french accents to strangers; had long discussions with each other. beth's my oldest close friend... we've been pals now for 21.5 years!
next time, i'm going to tell you about something else going on in my life that's exciting.
i bet you can't wait.
hello?
hello?
echo!
on the 29th i went to portland to stay with friend beth who recently moved there. it was lovely, rainy, verdant, cold. my appetite had by that time returned so i ate a delicious reuben sandwich; my stomach however was still replenishing its natural processing fluids and as a result had some difficulty digesting. i spent most of the 30th in a kind of drawn-to-the-toilet frenzy, emitting something that looked suspiciously like pond water. by the evening of the 30th i was weak and dazed enough to thoroughly non-enjoy a sushi dinner. when beth said she could feel my self-hatred radiating across the table, i reacted sourly. it was a dark day in portland.
but when i awoke on the 31st, glory hallelujah. my energy was restored. my stomach was functioning. my eyes were filled with light and my gratitude soared up into the blue sky. beth and i walked to a cool little cafe called anna bannana for steamed eggs and oatmeal and one of the most delicious soy lattes i've ever had. then we drove to beth's friends' place in milwaukie (just outside of portland) to check on their frail kitty. then we walked around on a little island just outside their back door, an island in the willamette. then we drove to tryon state park and walked in the woods for an hour or two. i'll post pictures soon, but walking in tryon state park was like being immersed in the life-giving moisture of a woodland bloodstream. after my bout with digestive gnarliness, the trees and ferns and sheer green of the woods were the most thorough healing balm i could have asked for.
by the time we got out of the woods, it was around 4 pm. beth and i ate an early dinner at a mexican/salvadorean restaurant in milwaukie. we had homemade pupusas, tamales, salvadorean guacamole (made with onion, garlic and egg) and fried plaintains. it was heaven. we also drank celebratory margaritas. i consider it our official new year celebration.
other things we did: walked up the hill to the park where the rose garden is; ate pizza with beth's friend kristen; went to powell's; talked in french accents to strangers; had long discussions with each other. beth's my oldest close friend... we've been pals now for 21.5 years!
next time, i'm going to tell you about something else going on in my life that's exciting.
i bet you can't wait.
hello?
hello?
echo!
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