pel-o-rama

i made 280 dumplings yesterday, some of which david and i immediately boiled and ate. today we will make more. not sure how many people will come over tonight, but wouldn't want to run out.

quick demo.

ya stroyu zamki iz piska

for the closing of UNCLE VANYA, we will be having a pelmeni party at our house.

pelmeni are russian dumplings, traditionally made with ground beef. i use ground turkey and also spice it up with a lot of garlic and dill. they are served with sour cream and butter, and maybe a dash of vinegar, for that special edge. it's the one dish i know how to make, and i love making it, and i have sort of altered the recipe to my taste over the years...

i may start making them today... make a few batches today and freeze them, make a few batches tomorrow and freeze them, so that we'll have a huge quantity of pelmeni by the time sunday evening rolls around.

we will also get a lot of cucumbers and slice them thinly. sprinkle them with some salt, chopped dill and a little sour cream, voila, salad.

i have been putting together a music playlist for the party. it's mostly jazz, with some tom waits, seu jorge, boris grebenschikov and bjork thrown in.

vanya pics

pictures of our production of UNCLE VANYA:

Go to flickr.com and search lightswerve. It will tell you no matches were found. Click the word people, then lightswerve, and there they’ll be. Right click and save whatever you want. There are some really stunning ones.

backstage wonderings

for today's matinee i watched UNCLE VANYA from backstage. as i've mentioned before, i like seeing the entrances and exits and all the routines the actors and crew have fallen into. something is so satisfying to me about that aspect of the theatre-- the routine of it, how all these little pieces come together to make a well-oiled machine.

i find myself wondering what russians would think of this production.

i wonder if chekhov would like it.

yet again

another review.

this morning we were on Great Day S.A., one of those morning shows where girls chat about stuff. we did a little interview with the host and john & emily did a short scene from the first act of the play. the other guests on the show were a jazz quartet and some people made up for a zombie movie.

jazz,

zombies,

and uncle vanya.

my brain is synapsing to find hidden meanings and connections.

know what you want!

our production of UNCLE VANYA opens tonight. we have all worked so hard on it.

it's an interesting phenomenon: during rehearsal there was a constant sense of discovery, play, and spontaneity which made me feel like we were doing something very fresh and even edgy with this 1896 play. but when we got into the theatre and into set and costumes, the play took on a very traditional, conservative vibe. it was quite distressing for me. the set and costumes are both quite beautiful and add a certain weight of legitimacy to the play, but i could see the actors struggling under that weight to regain the identities we'd established during rehearsals-- those fresh, spontaneous people now heavily costumed and walking on hard, echoey platforms. as rehearsals continued, the actors acclimated and i began to see them shining through the set and costumes again, weren't overwhelmed by them. still, the technical elements are a little stiff, and i mark it as a lesson to remember in the future: know what you want! that age-old nugget of wisdom. know what you want.

here's a critical but well-written review.

fluid conveyor

a conduit.

the woman who ran the group home said it was called "stemming." i've never heard it referred to as such since. it was when one of the guys would start rocking rhythmically, or repeating a certain sound or motion or activity over and over again. i understand those guys. as i'm sitting on my bed right now, in the record texas heat, it feels good to move from the waist up in a circular motion. not because of the heat, but just because.

my boyfriend is making a russian "olivier" salad in the kitchen. we're taking it to a vodka party fundraiser for UNCLE VANYA tomorrow. this is a salad that i had many times while in russia, but never had the proper recipe for. it has potatoes, egg, ham, turkey, pickles, peas, onion, mayo, garlic. it is made up of simple ingredients but combines into a heavenly experience.

rehearsals for UNCLE VANYA could not be going better. we have been productive and i have been able to strike a balance between allowing the actors to play freely and providing them with a modicum of structure. so far it has been thrilling and fulfilling. everyone is the right age for his or her role. i have a girl of 22 playing sonya and a woman of 88 playing marina. it's wonderful. it is also helping me feel empowered about my abilities as a director, because i am directing both young as well as seasoned actors, and we all actually seem to be enjoying the experience! imagine that!

i have been enjoying music by a band called why?. the album i have is called "alocepia," which is the technical term for male baldness. the singer's voice sounds sometimes like they might be giants, but the music has darker subject matter. i have especially been enjoying one song called "fatalist palmistry," the first line of which is as follows: "I sleep on my back, 'cause it's good for the spine, and coffin rehearsal." one day i sang that line over and over in my car.

last night david and i went to the overtime theatre and saw an original show (they do only original/san antonio-based material there) called BUDDHA SWINGS!. it was a musical in 40's swing style telling the story of the buddha. i found it quite smile-inducing and joy-bringing, and it even made me want to go read up on his story myself.

last weekend we saw a play at AtticRep called BLACKBIRD. it is by scottish playwright david harrower. it was about a man and woman meeting in a trashy break room to talk, and as their talk unfolds you learn that the two of them had an intimate relationship when he was 40 and she was 12. he went to prison for 10 years and this play begins when she shows up unexpectedly at his workplace. it was a very complex, sad, sympathetic and ultimately devastating story.

i am reading a collection of short stories called HOW WE ARE HUNGRY by dave eggers. i am liking it a lot. i realize i like it because i think of things from it during the day, like how one character thinks another character over-romanticizes the idea of living abroad.

david and i liked the movie AWAY WE GO a lot.

i have been experimenting with pen and india ink.

my car is in the shop till tomorrow to get an oil leak and a door fixed.

take me out

looks like we sort of pulled it off. go figure.

(though san antonio theatre critics are known to be milquetoasty.)

follow-up

opening weekend went surprisingly well.

the replacement actor completely changed the atmosphere among the actors. he didn't do it intentionally; he is just such a different person that the change happened naturally. the mood lightened and it seemed everyone started having a lot more fun. 

i know i did.

just so you know...

THE GOAT closed and was a pleasure from start to finish.

now i'm in another play, a fun and insightful look at baseball, homophobia, racism and friendship called TAKE ME OUT. the production has been somewhat poorly organized from the beginning, and this past week it manifested a big piece of doo-doo.

the guy playing the lead, who was severely miscast and had chronic trouble remembering what we had done in rehearsal each previous night, WALKED QUIETLY OUT OF REHEARSAL AND DROVE AWAY IN HIS CAR... A WEEK BEFORE WE OPEN. he texted the stage manager, "i can't do this. i need out."

those of us left in the theatre sat stunned. some with incredulous smiles, some with angry grimaces, some simply flummoxed. the next day this annoying person who quit wrote us all an e-mail stating that he disagreed with the nudity in the play and the way the nudity was being dealt with. (the play features baseball players in shower scenes, and the nudity is valid because it clearly illustrates the vulnerability these macho men feel, both as men and as baseball players, in light of their teammate's recent outing of himself to the press.) this excuse put forth by the annoying person who quit was a complete fabrication and a flimsy one at that, to cover the fact that he couldn't retain any information about his blocking, entrances and exits, or even his intentions as a character within the play. what's more, he came to his final rehearsal high on pain killers, after some invasive 'surgery' the day before. quotation marks very intentional.

so he left.

oh my god, i thought. what's going to happen? i thought, "if he comes back, i don't know what i'll do. i'm so appalled and disgusted by his behavior, and my character is supposed to have a crush on his character... i won't be able to maintain onstage with him. i'll sneer, or maybe vomit!"

but what happened is good:

someone who has played the role before has been enlisted, for a moderate fee. he has come from out of town to bail us out of this problem. and he's right for the role! he's the right age, the right ethnicity, and a good actor to work with! 

so, whew. drama!

we open friday. i'll post a report (regardless of whether or not anyone even reads this anymore).

new albums

i met my brother in austin on monday. we met at waterloo records and i purchased leonard cohen's new one, 'live in london,' which is the kind of concert recording you sit and luxuriate in, smiling lazily and maybe occasionally wistfully singing along for a strain or two. so satisfying. i also found a new recording of van morrison singing the entire 'astral weeks' album in concert. it is also beautiful, and contains the lyrics, which i hadn't remembered reading before. 

Little Jimmy's gone

Away out on the back street

Out of the window

To the fallen rain

Right on time, right on time

though the lyrics aren't surprising and pretty much match what i had in my head, it still seems like a small revelation to read them, after just listening all these years.

after waterloo, my brother and i had mexican food and then went to stubb's, where we saw gomez, a rock band originally from the UK. they were great and a little too loud (have my ears grown more sensitive with age, or am i just now noticing it?). mostly it was just fun being at a concert with my brother, whom i love.

i'm in another play, 'take me out,' which opens a week from today. it is perhaps the most ill-prepared production i've ever been a part of. the two leads are still very much on book, the production values are haphazard, the director seems blissfully ignorant. i can't understand how he's not frantic and humiliated at this point. i don't enjoy being a part of it, but as i said to fran today, i am opting to see the experience as a challenge and adventure. everything's for a reason.

kyogen details

my first exposure to the japanese kyogen was with KITUS. we did an interpretation of 'the fox mound' as part of our moun-tain extravaganza carnivore (the one we performed in 110 degree heat at rehoboth art league, complete with fur coats, while people were dying in philadelphia and chickens were suffocating in their cages surrounding the schoolhouse). 

when i was asked to work with the 5th graders at my alma mater, st. luke's episcopal school, i was told that the previous year, the entire play had consisted of a bicentennial parade. i didn't want to do something baby-ish, but i knew that there needed to be a sense of play about the production. i was very excited when, one slightly inebriated evening on my front porch, the idea of the kyogen popped into my mind.

back in the 14th century, these short comedic plays were used as intermission material between Noh plays, as a sort of refresher for the audience, so that they could get some laughs out before coming back for another epic tragedy. most of the kyogen deal with people playing tricks on each other, and most of them end with one character becoming enraged and chasing another, shouting "don't let him get away! catch him! catch him!"

i made sure the kids knew that whenever they heard the phrase "catch him," they were supposed to shout the second "catch him!" in unison, and with great volume and energy. that part worked really well.

another thing that was fun was using the kids as objects. i have always loved the american tradition of playing an inanimate object as a child. ask people you know, many of them will say, "oh, i've never been in a play, except for that time i played a doorknob in 2nd grade." stuff like that. so i made these 5th graders play doors, trees, tables, fences. that was fun.

they did an amazingly good job with the language, as well, which at times was pretty challenging-- sentences like "I am a wealthy landowner who dwells in this vicinity."

we set up the stage so that there was a red carpet coming out to make an aisle down from the stage into the middle of the audience, which led to a sort of pagoda-like umbrella at the far end of the audience. so that the action was more integrated into the audience. i think that helped a lot. 

costumes were basic accessories on top of a black t-shirt/pants base. lots of hats and jackets. 

it was fun.

week in review

it was a big and satisfying week for me.

on monday the 25th i met my sister at rudy's in leon springs for a little post-birthday lunch. i got to hang out with my sister and brother-in-law a little, and after that i went to st. luke's for our final dress rehearsal of the kyogen plays. though the rehearsal was predictably chaotic, with kids coming and going at all hours and not an optimum level of concentration, i had already decided to take it easy and roll with the punches, and it all went fine.

on tuesday the 26th i stayed at st. luke's pretty much the whole day. we had a rehearsal in the morning from 9:30 to 11:15. i set up the parish hall while kids were having lunch. at 2:30 we did a show for students and parents. after the show we had pizza and japanese sodas and talked about the performance. then we did a speed-through. then it was time for our 6:00 performance. it went well, the kids were adorable. though i wished we'd had more time to work on things, i think the bottom line is that the kids had a great time and will remember the experience, overall, positively. that evening i met scott mcdowell, a local playwright, at barnes & noble, to talk about his sequel to the play i directed of his last summer. it is a film noir-inspired trilogy and i think it's going to be a lot of fun.

on wednesday the 27th i had lunch with my friend michele. we talked about falling in love with animals (she is smitten with a gibbon at the zoo) and she told me she knows a guy who is making a zombie movie and that she would recommend me to him. that evening david and i had a dinner party for 4 of our friends-- two other couples. it was low-key with good food and good conversations.

on thursday the 28th we had a production meeting for 'uncle vanya', with this great technical team that has assembled to work on the project. margaret, who is handling costumes, is doing incredible research and has designed such beautiful things for the show. we had it at her house. we discussed concepts, transitions, looks. it was a good meeting. in the evening we began our final weekend of performances for 'the goat.'

'the goat' has been such an unabashedly fun and drama-free experience. the actors, technical team and director have been a pleasure to work with. yesterday, at our final performance, the house was packed. gloria and i kept shards of broken pottery as keepsakes. we took pictures. i had a blocking rehearsal for 'take me out,' and after that, joined the cast party for 'the goat' which was already in progress. 

friday phrases

my black backpack is the cat's pillow.

my russian friend's daughter is in russian commercials for heart medicine and clotted cream.

the play i'm in is a lot of fun to perform, and last night we had a talk-back after the show.

i'm meeting a new acting student tomorrow.

the 5th grade play is tuesday and we won't be ready, but it will be adorable.

the weather has been perfect this week.

yesterday i made rice and turkey with swiss cheese.

funny

i'm not one of those hilarious people. i might say one mildly funny thing a day. usually when i'm funniest is when i didn't intend it, like tripping while going up the stairs, or dribbling food on my shirt, or boogers. sometimes i'll say something funny and people will laugh and that's gratifying. but i think that in general i've always been something of a serious person. not so much dramatic necessarily, but introspective.

reaction

cold and impenetrable, the way people are. the way you try to make yourself. they're like, it's too much, i've got to draw the line somewhere, i can't be just absorbing all this stuff all the time, i've got to draw the line, there has to be a limit here somewhere. thereby cold and impenetrable. not even sure if there IS anyone else, that's how impenetrable. but there are other assurances, other things to turn to that make things OK. people who care what you say, sort of, for whatever reason, though it be selfish, ah yes, ah well, that's ok, that's all right. at least on some level they're listening. sort of.

123 favorite albums

i indulged myself. i went through my music and chose the albums i like the most. it came to 123 albums (though some are multiple-disc albums), which equals about five consecutive days of listening. here they are in alphabetical order.

A Tribe Called Quest: People's Instinctive Travels and Paths of Rhythm

Laurie Anderson: Home of the Brave

Fiona Apple: When the Pawn...

The Arcade Fire: Neon Bible

Joan Armatrading: Joan Armatrading

Joan Armatrading: Walk Under Ladders

Louis Armstrong & Duke Ellington: The Great Summit

Mulatu Astatke: Ethiopiques, Vol. 4: Ethio Jazz & Musique Instrumentale

The Avett Brothers: Emotionalism

The B-52's: Time Capsule: Songs for a Future Generation

J.S. Bach: St. Matthew Passion

The Beatles: The White Album

Pierre Bensusan: Musiques

Bjork: Live Box

Bjork: Medulla

David Bowie: Hunky Dory

Billy Bragg: Must I Paint You a Picture?: The Essential Billy Bragg

Kate Bush: The Kick Inside

Kate Bush: The Dreaming

Kate Bush: Hounds of Love

John Cage: Prepared Piano Sonatas & Interludes

Ben Charest: The Triplets of Belleville

The Clash: London Calling

Cocteau Twins: Victorialand

Elvis Costello: My Aim is True

Elvis Costello: Imperial Bedroom

Crowded House: Crowded House

De La Soul: 3 Feet High and Rising

De La Soul: Buhloone Mind State

Iris Dement: Infamous Angel

Thomas Dolby: The Flat Earth

Bob Dylan: Blood on the Tracks

Duke Ellington & John Coltrane: Duke Ellington & John Coltrane

Eurythmics: Be Yourself Tonight

Donald Fagen: The Nightfly

The Flaming Lips: Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots

Djivan Gasparyan: I Will Not Be Sad in This World

Glover Gill: Waking Life

Girl Talk: Feed the Animals

Philip Glass: Glass: Saxophone

Philip Glass: La Belle et La Bete

Jose Gonzalez: Veneer

Boris Grebenshikov & Aquarium: The Favorite Songs of Ramses IV

Tommy Guerrero: Soul Food Taqueria

Guided By Voices: Under the Bushes Under the Stars

Robyn Hitchcock: I Often Dream of Trains

Iron & Wine: The Creek Drank the Cradle

Joe Jackson: Jumpin' Jive

Rickie Lee Jones: Pirates

Rickie Lee Jones: Pop Pop

Louis Jordan: Five Guys Named Moe

Robert Earl Keen: No Kinda Dancer

The Kinks: The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society

K'naan: Troubadour

Latin Playboys: Latin Playboys

Los Lobos: Kiko

Lyle Lovett: Pontiac

The Magnetic Fields: The Charm of the Highway Strip

The Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs

Taj Mahal & Toumani Diabate: Kulanjan

Manu Chao: Proxima Estacion: Esperanza

Wynton Marsalis Septet: Live at the Village Vanguard

MGMT: Oracular Spectacular

Charles Mingus: Mingus Plays Piano

Joni Mitchell: Court and Spark

Joni Mitchell: Hejira

The Modern Lovers: The Modern Lovers

Van Morrison: Astral Weeks

Van Morrison: No Guru, No Method, No Teacher

My Morning Jacket: Z

Joanna Newsom: Ys

Liz Phair: Exile in Guyville

Pixies: Doolittle

Prince: Purple Rain

John Prine: In Spite of Ourselves

The Proclaimers: This is the Story

Sergei Prokofiev: Piano Concerto #3

Giacomo Puccini: La Boheme

R.E.M.: Murmur

R.E.M.: Life's Rich Pageant

Radiohead: Kid A

Radiohead: In Rainbows

Gilda Radner: Live From New York

Lou Reed & John Cale: Songs for Drella

The Replacements: Let it Be

The Roches: The Roches

Roxy Music: Roxy Music

Roxy Music: Live

Todd Rundgren: A Wizard, A True Star

The Rustavi Choir: Georgian Voices

Santigold: Santigold

Michelle Shocked: Short Sharp Shocked

Shonen Knife: Pretty Little Baka Guy

Nina Simone: The Soul of Nina Simone

The Smiths: Meat is Murder

Elliott Smith: Elliott Smith

Patti Smith: Horses

Devon Sproule: Upstate Songs

Steely Dan: Pretzel Logic

Sufjan Stevens: Greetings from Michigan

David Sylvian & Holger Czukay: Flux + Mutability

Talking Heads: Sand in the Vaseline

James Taylor: Greatest Hits

Television: Marquee Moon

They Might Be Giants: Then

Tom Tom Club: Tom Tom Club

TV on the Radio: Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes

TV on the Radio: Dear Science

Suzanne Vega: Suzanne Vega

The Velvet Underground: VU

Rufus Wainwright: Rufus Wainwright

Tom Waits: Rain Dogs

Tom Waits: Frank's Wild Years

Wilco: Sky Blue Sky

Lucinda Williams: Car Wheels on a Gravel Road

Stevie Wonder: Songs in the Key of Life

X: Beyond & Back: The X Anthology

XTC: English Settlement

XTC: Skylarking

Neil Young: Harvest

Frank Zappa: Apostrophe/Overnite Sensation

Frank Zappa: Hot Rats

Frank Zappa: The Yellow Shark

mother's day

i wouldn't say i'm estranged from my mom. but i'm not exactly close to her either. i get the sense that we should be closer. we have been closer in the past. i have a lot of love for her. but the last few times we talked i ended up feeling kinda shitty at the end of the conversation. of late she has been casting aspersions upon the play i'm currently in, THE GOAT by edward albee. it is her right to cast aspersions and in truth i would expect nothing less. indeed, neither would albee-- he'd probably be proud. 

i wonder if i'm getting more sensitive as i get older. in terms of my acting, this may be a good thing; but in terms of life, this overbearing sensitivity is crippling. why should several negative comments about THE GOAT cause a rift of apathy between my mother and me? 

my mom was a really good mom while we were growing up, for the following reasons: she told me i was creative and imaginative, instilled creative confidence in me; she was positive and loving and almost never lost her temper; she taught me how to pray-- a skill that, though my spiritual leanings have changed, has always served me well; she read THE LION, THE WITCH, AND THE WARDROBE to us once-- to my brother and i, at night before we went to bed, for how ever long it took to get through the whole thing, maybe a month?

i love my mom very much.

phrases in english

poem about paris

waiting for friends to come over

samples and flow laced over drumbeats

all the fans on, air hot

drenched in sweat

mopping the floor

homemade samosas

walk to gas station

pockets filled with chocolate

painting of apartment building

cat sacked out lengthwise

things hidden

i don't want to talk about it

that won't stay up

postcards stuck to the side of my dresser

holding on to things from fifteen years ago

shelves with pictures

wet paper towel sucks up dust

a tree softening a harsh corner

you never write to me

beads hanging on a hook

empty gift bag

belt hanging on a doorknob

emptied recycling bin

lamp stays on

beer at 5 pm

we hugged a tree

picture of the sky

picture of shadows

bee lady

there once was a bee lady who kept bees.

she'd get them at night, after twenty planets appeared.