dad thing

freda paws me gently for attention.
tonight my dad said something to me that he'd never said before. in the restaurant parking lot, he emphatically said, "you're doing good. you're doing good." i believe he meant i was doing well, but grammar nitpicking aside, i think he was exhorting me, and the slightly declarative way he said it made me do a double-take.
i had to agree with him. "yeah, i am," i said, raising my eyebrows in disbelief. despite my hellish second period class, various chemical dependencies, still being single at 38, and increasing bitterness against humanity, i'm doing great. my job is the most rewarding and challenging (and painful) job i've ever had. i'm learning like crazy. there's an active dynamic going on.
but there's also a feeling that a foundation is being laid for me right now-- not career-wise, necessarily, but a personal stability i'm beginning to find on a day-to-day basis. i'm not sure if i truly believe this last statement. maybe i'm trying to convince myself of it by writing it down.
my dad grows emotionally softer with each passing year. he has begun speaking about his feelings more. but the directness and sureness he spoke with tonight was something different, and i think the way i listened to him was different too. better.
today i like growing up.