they went back to school two days ago. i wonder how it's going. i've gotten reports here and there from different students... they've painted the drama hallway red. other stuff like that. i am deeply happy not to be there; at the same time i have some anxiety about my future and that is why i am realizing about resistance and how insidious it can be.
you know, i'm really haunted by that goddamn aesop's fable about the grasshopper and the ants. was it a grasshopper? i think so. he spent the whole summer playing and making music while the ants worked. in winter he froze because he hadn't prepared. that thing really messes with me! that story of impending doom became a building block of my identity!
of course a solid work ethic is important, chiefly because it gives one a sense of purpose. but that story is such scare tactics, and it's caused me, in the past, to not enjoy the current moment, worrying that if i have too much fun, i'll pay for it later.
love and trust more; hate and resist less.
3 comments:
then let us work very hard at making music til we freeze.
Yeah making music is the hardest work I know. Of course they never tell you in those foibles that you can have fun and work hard at the same time. If we proved anything to ourselves I would say that had to be it.
Doesn't the past seem so solid. We place so much importance on something that has happened in the past, whether it is a few minutes ore years ago. We use it as a guide for what we should do, think of ourselves, our lives, or others, in the future.
Wouldn't it be great if we could easily forget about the past and just start all over all fresh and new?
Post a Comment