shiznit

it's easy to be sucked in. laziness, apathy and consumerism abound. i'm sure previous generations have felt that the america they knew was dying. there have been enough movies made about the 1960's to give us plenty of examples. but what do we do? how do we change things? why are good people so passive, and bad people so active? (i know at least one of the answers to that. "good" people adapt, see beauty in everything, avoid fearful reactionary aggression, find themselves paralyzed by the weight of all the contradictions.) i've been annoyed by these questions before. i still have no answers. i resort to simplistic creative diversionary tactics: create more beauty and love in the world. despite my exposure to evil, i remain childlike, naive, idealistic. or is it fear, causing me to retreat into my drawings and music?
really, i'm trying to go further with this thought, but i keep coming back to simplicity. aphorisms i coined as a young adult. "everything is temporary." "all you can do is do what you do." "joy and sorrow walk hand-in-hand shouting, 'we are in love and never shall we part!'"
gulp. sigh. wince. blink. hit the post button and for now stop typing.
but no, i keep typing, because i realize that i resort to creating because in the final analysis it's the only thing i have control over. someone can take away my computer, my blog, my right to marry, my privacy, my freedom. they can do that. they have before. but they can't take my drawings away. in my small corner i perfect what i can, indulge in a cross-hatched shadow, create a beautiful line, commit a smile to memory and try to recreate it.
screw abject cynicism! it doesn't get me anywhere.