at school, we have started working on our one-act play, an adaptation of euripides' bacchae. on tuesday we had an especially emotional rehearsal. when i asked the students to think about their own experiences in relation to what these characters experience, some intense stuff came up. i wasn't expecting that to happen in such vivid color, wasn't prepared, and felt a little dumbfounded with my responses to their depth. as a teacher, how much emotion am i allowed to show? how much do i need to hold back? what is the best way to impart my experience? i am learning!
yesterday i felt like an inverted noodle all day. what do inverted noodles feel like? irritable, tired, wimpy, volatile, and somewhat negative. nic took me to lunch which was nice. since he's moving away he's giving me some of his stuff that he can't take with him, like a very cool chair and some very cool shelves. he is such a generous person. as for my inverted noodle status, there are two possible explanations, both of which may be working in entropic concordance with each other:
*i'm on some new allergy pills my mom gave me, and i do not underestimate the power of new medication on my sensitive brain;
*i've fallen behind on several things i need to accomplish, like an online book study (again!) and my classroom assignments.
it's ok, it's gonna all work out. it's a little valley, a little mini-valley of doom, but they come up every so often and i'm fully aware of that. just keep walkin'.
1 comment:
I think one of the draws to acting is the safety zone which is established between cast and crew. This safety zone creates a situation similar to analysis. In my humble opinion, respect is the most important atmosphere to foster. Akin to analysis those who are granting such respect should do so with an attitude of detached affirmation and understanding. People filter their emotions in vastly different ways. There may be times when this respect is difficult to grant on the grounds that the filtered emotions have so many layers that they come off as unbelievable. Or as you stated in your post the emotions are so real and present that denying yourself an emotional response seems inappropriate. I do not worry about you in this because as I know you, you are naturally equipped to understand and handle these immediate moments. The thing I wonder about is what happens if this emotional exploration brings things to the surface which may be of lasting consequence. (As if they weren’t when they were buried.) Perhaps some networking into the world of psychology would be in order. Getting to know local mental health care professionals and seeking their advice and observations could prove helpful when dealing with so many potentially explosive variables. -b
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