revolution

i believe that many people, inherently and unconsciously sponge-like, can pick up energy and vibrations from unknown sources. maybe i was tuning in to some remote source during my day of emotion (see last entry).
last night i watched a movie called i am cuba. i have started writing brief reviews of movies i watch, both as a writing/comprehension exercise as well as an effort to remember and catalog them. i had put my whole review on this blog, but have thought better of it. instead, i'll just say that the movie disturbed me, especially the final vignette, where a cuban worker, mariano, comes home to his family in the mountains to find a revolutionary, hungry and exhausted, sharing his meal. soon after mariano disagrees with the revolutionary’s ideals (which include a rifle) and throws him out of his house, the house is bombed and mariano’s family is left to wander in the ruins. mariano, previously peaceful, joins the uprising, fights for his own rifle, and finds his place as a revolutionary. though the film may be dismissed as propaganda, and though the russian-language overdubs are often distracting, i found myself immersed in this film, and ultimately, questioning my level of comfort and ignorance as an american. when i look at images of cuba now, it seems it has been utterly crushed. were all the revolutionaries killed? what can I do to fight injustice? these questions are left burning in my mind. the final message of the film grates against my complacent pacifism. apparently, guns are necessary, despite my ongoing hope that they will become obsolete.
there is so much wrong with the world. sometimes, when i read friends' blogs, i feel like an ignorant american, burying his head in the sand of consumerism and petty personal issues. i don't think it's enough to be indignant. like i've said before, i made a resolution to create more love and beauty in the world. but when it comes to picking up a gun, like mariano had to, i don't think i would make the grade.