when i watch a movie or a play, if it's in any way effective, i tend to take on the mood of the movie or play, or empathize with the character(s) to such a degree that it's sometimes upsetting. i do this intuitively, almost subconsciously. like when i watched the movie memento twice in succession, that was strange-- i couldn't quite remember who i was. after tootsie i really wanted some falsies. when i watch wings of desire i feel like an invisible angel who can hear things other people can't hear. yentl, dazed & confused, annie, ... you get the idea. well, last night i watched an episode of ricky gervais's and stephen merchant's extras. it was an episode about a star who kept bragging about how he could kick the ass of another star, how he was "harder" and would have no problem nailing him in a fight. at the end the other star confronts the first star and the first star withers pathetically. though extras is meant to be funny, this ending was just sad and... well, no word describes it better than pathetic. and as i walked to my mailbox when it was over, i felt so ultra-pathetic, so sad and wrong. my job, the way i do my job, the way i don't do my job, my relationships, the way i do my relationships, etc., all these things started to point their fingers at me and laugh, sneering. what is going on!?!?, i thought. then i realized i had taken on all the patheticism of extras. i'm glad i realized it in time to stop it in its tracks, climb into bed, and read a little bit more of this fantastic book i bought: an anthology of graphic fiction, cartoons, & true stories, edited by ivan brunetti. a lovely, diverse compendium!
our musical opens tomorrow night. i have severe criticisms of it, as i almost always do. there's no unity in the cast, a lot of nebulous blocking (wandering around stage while singing), a lot of egregious lighting effects, a paucity of actual communication onstage. and no leadership from the director. after last night's rehearsal he didn't even bother to call everyone out on stage before he began to shout out the game plan for tomorrow, much less did he rally everyone to give notes. i have severe disagreements with his methods...
and ah well. and oh my. it's all so important isn't it... and all so temporary...
2 comments:
Maybe following such a pathetic story with an episode of Creature Comforts will lighten your soul a bit. That empathy you have is what makes you such a great actor. You can use it. Love love love
When I began reading crime and punishment I had a little cold. By the end of it I was delerious with fever and yes, that was me you saw in 1977 dancing on the sidewalk after I saw Grease at the towne cinema next to K-mart.
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