acting notes

i like "listen to the lion" by van morrison.

so my theory on why i'm hurting myself during TRUE WEST: during my college career, several of my teachers told me i was too much in my head and not enough in my body. these criticisms have nagged at the back of my mind ever since then, and a few years ago when i saw a videotape of a production i was in (eugene o'neill's HAIRY APE), i noticed that all the other guys on stage had bodies that actually moved, whereas i looked sort of like a head on top of a plank with legs. recently, while doing GLASS MENAGERIE, the director said, casually, not knowing the total-shock effect his comment would have on me, "your body is very passive."

argh!

in approaching TRUE WEST, i was working with a very physical director who, 12 years ago, had played the same part i was playing. he talked a lot about the violence and physicality of the play, and often told me that the energy of the acting was more important than the words themselves. he pushed me to be more aggressive in almost every single moment of the play. so when the performance finally came about, i was integrated more into my body onstage than i've ever been before. i think i was so physically aware that i actually turned off some part of my brain; or maybe more aptly, i turned off some part of my brain in order to achieve that physical connection. and so i wasn't keeping an eye on myself and my actions, but was just letting myself go onstage. it's not so much that i was losing control, but i was allowing the body to take over, and this quality, coupled with a few other things (the adrenaline of performance, the wrong golf club) caused me to cut myself a few times during the first few performances. 

it's funny when you're onstage and you hurt yourself, you don't usually feel it. i had gouged a small, deep gash into my left hand pinky and it didn't hurt. i looked down and blood was pouring down my finger. not until the show was over did it actually start to smart a little.

but on sunday, i was able to pull more head awareness into my performance, to temper the violence with a little observation, so that those physical mishaps were less likely to occur. it made the show much more fun and gave me more of a framework in which to play, rather than worry about what i would be maimed by next.

i'm learning a lot about acting. there are reviews here and here.